Isn’t funny how words can take on different meanings depending on who you are and what stage of life you’re in. In my late teens success was all about acing uni and getting into politics, having lots of money to party and travel and moving into an awesome apartment (with a balcony) with my best friend.
Then all of a sudden I met my fiancé and success became about proving wrong everyone who thought we wouldn’t last (we were engaged after only 3 weeks), saving enough money to move out of his parents house, buying a house of our own, planning a kickass wedding and topping the sales board in my new Job as a membership consultant at a big job.
Three years later right as I’d booked our wedding venues I fell pregnant with the Mighty Midget and he was born 6 weeks premature. Success was about getting him well enough to come out intensive care and being a good enough and aware enough parent to keep him out. And with the birth of the Chunky Monkey success became about moving beyond past mistakes and having the courage to try again at things that I wasn’t sure I could achieve, namely to try again at Breastfeeding.
My Breast Feeding journey begins with the mighty midget despite the fact that it wasn’t a great success. There were obstacles and ‘booby traps’ from the beginning, being premature we were not able to have the skin to skin contact needed in order to establish breast feeding. He was whisked away and I was unable to hold him for 3 days. During this time I pumped and hand expressed in order for him to be tube fed, he was fed in this manner exclusively for 8 days and on day 9 we began our first attempts at latching. He latched well initially however couldn’t stay on for long, becoming tired rapidly and had such a tiny mouth, the midwife suggested we try a shield. This made things markedly easier and by day 12 he was doing all ‘suck feeds’ and had gained enough weight to be released. There were restrictions on our feeding schedule however, we were told that Mighty Midget shouldn’t feed any more than 4 hourly or he would burn too much energy and lose weight again(Booby Trap#1). We were also advised by a different midwife that I had oversupply and now that he was doing all suck feeds I needed to stop pumping otherwise I would get mastitis, there was no talk of taking advantage of this to build a freezer stash in case he needed to be readmitted, the fact that I was using a shield and not getting stimulated as much by his suck also wasn’t considered when this advice was dispensed (Booby trap#2). After a couple of days at home things started to go down hill, all of a sudden he wanted to feed for up to an hour and a half at a time and then would be hungry again half an hour later. I vaguely remembered hearing or reading something about demand feeding and I couldn’t stand the sound of my baby crying so I would sit in the rocking chair all night sobbing and feeding wondering what I was doing wrong. When the community nurse came to my house for his first check up my worst fears were realised, he was not putting on weight. I described his feeding patterns and was told in no uncertain terms that this was far too long for a new born to feed, and even though his nappy output was good that he mustn’t be getting enough and this was why he hadn’t gained weight. I had to supplement and since I didn’t have much of a freezer stash due to booby trap#2 it had to be formula (Booby Trap#3). I was advised to pump after each feed (but wasn’t told to pump between feedings) however I wasn’t told for how long each time, I also wasn’t told that I wouldn’t necessarily get much milk out if he had just fed. I also wasn’t told about any supplements or foods I now know about that could have helped build supply. I was so heartbroken each time I pumped and got nothing and so relieved when at his next check up he had put on weight and had began sleeping well that eventually by about 2 months he was on completely formula and the pump had been packed away. I pushed it to the back of my mind and moved on.
When I found out I was pregnant with the Chunky Monkey I was determined to try again, I was terrified that I was going to have another premmie but fortune smiled on us and he was born 12 days before his official due date at a healthy weight of 3.9Kg. We got a blissful 2 hours of alone time to just cuddle skin to skin immediately after he was born and he latched within 10 minutes of that time and fed for about 20 minutes then fell asleep. His latch wasn’t perfect and had worn a sore patch on my nipple but I had colostrums leaking when he unlatched. I was ecstatic. We were in a much more breastfeeding friendly hospital than the first time and when I worried that he was feeding too often I was assured that this was normal, I was given brilliant advice about practicing nursing while side laying so we could both sleep. Despite this by around 4 weeks I was having doubts again, this largely due to certain people giving me booby trap advice about how often I was having to feed and that perhaps there wasn’t enough calories in my milk. My saviour came in the form of a woman I used to work with who just happened to be on facebook chat one day, we began discussing children and I was surprised to learn she was still feeding her 16 month old. My goal was to reach 12 months, I had never even considered the possibility of going longer. The next morning I received a page suggestion from her, The Leaky B@@b. I checked out the page and I was in heaven! I promptly posted my concerns and the ‘advice’ I had been given and within minutes I had several women reassuring me and encouraging me and I haven’t looked back since. We recently made it to 6 months and in that time have overcome hospital stays several colds, bouts of bronchiolitis, a minor brush with mastitis and returning to work. I have high hopes that our breastfeeding journey will continue for a long while yet and look forward to what the future successes are in store for my family and I.
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