Safari

This weekend I did 2 things are creating an equal mix of pride and shame, well maybe not pride for both possibly pride for one, satisfaction for the other but definitely a little bit of shame for both.

On saturday I took the chunky monkey and mighty midget out for the day and we had lunch at Macca's. OMG maccas how does that fit into a clean whole foods eating plan?? In short it doesn't. While at Macca's however I ordered a grilled chicken salad wrap and a bottle of water-enter pride. I gave myself a little pat on the back for showing such restraint amongst all of that oily plastic cheesy goodness. At the same time I hate myself a little. who the fuck goes to Macca's to eat healthy? I almost ordered a coffee kick frappe when the kids were getting their soft serves but again a I refrained. I really want that frappe, I have been thinking about that missed frappe for 2 days and no amount of back patting is making it go away. The only thing stopping me from driving the 20mins to the nearest macca's to buy that stupid frappe is that Its not pay day til wednesday and I would have to refill my car before wednesday if I did that.
This means that I'm probably going to buy a frappe on the way to work Thursday morning....stupid frappe.

On sunday I gardened, it had to be done, we have a pebbled area down the side of the house that was a jungle of knee to waist high thistle, and other weeds I don't know the names of. To hang the washing out I had to wear long sleeves, jeans and enclosed shoes. Big Daddy's been saying he's going to do it for months but it's understandably difficult to follow through with those promises while working full time night shifts. I was hoping that by seeing me do it it would guilt him into coming out to help me because I couldn't imagine it was going to be a particularly enjoyable task.
So out I went all gloved up and prepared to tackle the thistle jungle. While I was safari-ing through the jungle I discovered some things;

• Thistles hurt....ok so I already knew this but did you know that the bigger they get the longer and harder the spikes get and it is damn near impossible to get to the non spiky base of the stalk without getting thistle spikes in your arms, face, nostrils hair etc. These spikes were so strong that I have scratches and got kinda tingly and itchy for a while.
• There are a lot of earwigs in my garden of thistles, at least thats what I think they're called, those long skinny beetle with long pincers on their backside. I hate earwigs, they scare me, I'm not scared of much in the way of creepy crawlies but earwigs give the proper willies. Every time a fly landed on my face I was certain it was an earwig deviously trying to make its way into my ear. In fact even now if my ear is itchy Im convinced its a sneaky earwig that made its way in undetected. I don't even know if earwigs really do go into peoples ears but they give me the willies any way.
• There are almost as many lady bugs (or pretty coloured man bugs) in my back yard, this makes me happy who doesn't love lady bugs?
• Here comes the shame, I really fucking enjoyed gardening. I know 5 people that really enjoy Gardening, they are all over 50. I hate myself I am a hot pink haired, tattooed, pierced gardening granny at the ripe old age of 28. I now have all these plans of little no dig vegie and herb gardens that I want to set up all over the place, right after I'm finished applying for the old age pension. I also hate myself because although I've never been an avid gardener I have on occasion been gifted with plant like offerings, herb gardens, flowers in pots etc. to date the only one I've managed to keep alive is a potted, not in dirt but glued down pebbles, cactus. Im thrilled each spring when my cactus sprouts cute little flowers. I water my cactus maybe 3 times a year if I'm lucky. Sometimes big daddy waters it if he's standing next to it while having a drink of water. Long story short I'm possibly going to spend crap loads of money getting this little garden started only to kill it a few months later. I've already bought little kids grow kits of tomatoes and strawberries for christmas for my munchkins. Those presents are so much ore for me than them.

So there we go I am a lame chicken wrap eating gardening blue rinse crazy lady. Lord help me.